Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
