My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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