I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sobbing to NWA
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
