I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
