Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
