i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
