Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
