her vagine was all disorganized.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
