I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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