I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize