oh god the rape fog is back!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
