Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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