new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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