She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
