I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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