sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
