so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
honey bunches of taint.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
