i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
