Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
