i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
