Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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