I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
