omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
