Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
