Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
