Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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