you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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