thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
