the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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