weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tell her she can't have a vagina
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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