There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the day after is always just damage control
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
