Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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