i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
