It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
