She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she told me i tasted like america
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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