I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
