he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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