I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize