This is not my ceiling
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
