hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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