i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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