why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
