she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
pray to the hookup gods
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
