Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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