Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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