i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
