Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
