we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh god the rape fog is back!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
