If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
