hell yes lets make some ravioli
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
