who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
