You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize