Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
