when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
