you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
