I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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