We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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