That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
