I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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