Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
