I think I died a long time ago.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
