I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
