I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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