Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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