I hope mine doesn't look like that
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No...this little piggys going to the bar
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
