Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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