WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
