just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize