That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Reggie can tackle my bush.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
