I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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