i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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