Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this just has baby written all over it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
