i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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