That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I came so hard my ears popped.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
