Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
