oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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