So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
