whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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