After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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